


So kiss me

by Vlindervin



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23947021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vlindervin/pseuds/Vlindervin
Summary: He manages to keep himself under control until the music switches and he sees Matteo do the silliest, smallest little dance David has ever had the pleasure to see, and something snaps. Everything inside him is screaming to walk over there and push Matteo against the wall, gently box him in with his arms and --
Relationships: Matteo Florenzi/David (Druck)
Comments: 34
Kudos: 125





	So kiss me

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote for a prompt on Tumblr, but it got a bit too long to be classified as a drabble so i thought i'd put it here too! If you want me to put the shorter ones here, too, just let me know and I will!

_**basorexia** \- the overwhelming desire to kiss _

The first time David meets Matteo he’s pretty sure he stops breathing for a moment. It’s a windy October afternoon when he goes to meet Leonie at their favorite coffeeshop. His shoulders ache with the weight of his backpack. He’s a bit grumpy, tired from class after class after class, his ears sizzling. He’s excited to see Leonie, though. She’ll hopefully be able to snap him out of his mood and make him laugh. 

When he arrives, he sees a group of boys with their backs to him, but no Leonie, which is weird because she’s never late and it’s already five minutes over the decided time. He’s just about to take his phone to send her a message, when he hears his name being called. There, from behind her hiding spot in front of the boys, Leonie steps and calls his attention. David loves how tiny she is. 

Once he stands next to her and gives her a quick hug, she turns away from him and gestures to the boys in front of her. ‘These are friends I went to school with. I’ve told you about Jonas, my ex.’ She points to a curly-haired boy who offers him a warm, albeit sheepish smile. ‘Carlos, Abdi’, both of which give him a goofy one, ‘and that’s Matteo, Jonas’ best friend.’ And _oh_. 

The boy, Matteo, is possibly the most beautiful person David has ever seen, and as an artist, he spends most of his time collecting beautiful things. Matteo has messy blond hair that’s blown back by the wind, and eyes that make David want to find a way to press the ocean into a pencil, a cute button nose above a pair of soft-looking pink lips. There’s this one song that plays sometimes at his job at the student’s common room _I’ve never seen a mouth that I would kill to kiss_ and it’s the only thing coming to his mind right now. It’s a sappy thought, and a ridiculous one that would ruin his whole entire tough exterior, so he dismisses it immediately, but it still lingers at the back of his mind. 

He tries to nod at the boys in what he hopes is a collected manner. Matteo gives him a small smile, but so sweet and David can’t handle this. 

‘We were just telling Leonie about the party at Carlos’ place tomorrow’, Jonas says, finally pulling David’s attention away from Matteo. ‘You can totally come too if you want!’ 

David hesitates for a second. He has so much work to do, but he has to admit a party would do him good. He might see Matteo again, too, this way, but that’s definitely _not_ why he answers: ‘Yeah, maybe. That sounds cool, thanks.’ 

Not soon after, the boys go on their way and Leonie and David get that coffee they’ve been wanting since they woke up. 

The next day David dresses nice and heads over to Carlos’ place with Leonie and Sara. They soon get lost in their weird flirting and don’t even notice when David slips away and finds himself in the bathroom with the boys he met yesterday, smoking a joint and trying not to stare at Matteo too much. He has a surprisingly good time, the boys easy company, never making David feel left out. At the end of the night, he leaves the party slightly drunk and still a bit high, having been added to the _ok.cool_ group chat, which he knows will both make him laugh and give him a headache, with four new friends. And maybe a crush, too, but that’s not what is important here. 

***

They all grow very close, very quickly. As swiftly as the boys had added him to their group chat, just as swiftly they’d accepted David as one of their own. They hang out, and meet at one of their apartments to play video games and eat kebabs, to smoke sometimes. They go to more parties, hang out in parks, coming up with crazy ping pong tournaments that last hours. 

He even goes as far as telling them he’s trans when talk of high school comes up one day, and they eventually asked David for input. They take it well. Some stupid question are asked, but all with good intention, and none offensive. 

Sometimes, he hangs out with just Matteo, too, and it definitely does not lessen his attraction. He learns more about him and starts to trust him with secrets of his own. Their conversations are often light, but they always feel important, never feel unnecessary. It turns into one of David’s favorite things to do. 

He finds out Matteo is gay, which his brain is having a field day with, that he studies programming at uni and that he’s crazy smart even though he tends to underestimate himself and downplay it, that he has a complicated relationship with his mother but that he loves her more than anything, and that he’s quite possibly the cutest person David has ever met. 

They’re having a movie night at Matteo’s flatshare, watching some Hollywood blockbuster David could drag through the mud if he were in the right mood. He’s not about to ruin it for everyone, though, and he _does_ m anage to just enjoy himself sometimes. It’s a nice night. Hans and Linn join them after a while, and they bring them more snacks. David’s met them a few times in passing before, but he’s never really spent time with them, but unsurprisingly they turn out to be equally lovely as everyone else he’s met through these people. 

When the movie is over, no one moves, too content to sit there and be stupid. They play some silly drinking games with shitty beer that won’t actually get any of them properly drunk, although David does start to feel slightly tipsy after a while. 

Abdi is just telling some complicated story when David looks to his right, having forced himself to stop stealing glances at Matteo every two seconds as it would soon become glaringly obvious, and notices Matteo has dozed off. He’s laying on the sofa’s headrest, a light blanket covering his legs. He looks so peaceful, much to David’s confusion. He’d never be able to fall asleep that deeply with this much noise around. 

Jonas must see him looking, because he leans closer to David, making his voice clearer over Abdi’s passionate story telling. ‘Luigi can fall asleep everywhere. Once when we were smaller, he’d invited me to one of his cousin’s wedding. I lost him after a while, but then when everyone was dancing in the evening, I found him behind one of the buffet tables, fast asleep. He’d made his suit jacket into a pillow and didn’t seem to mind the party around him in the least.’ 

David laughs imagining a tiny Matteo being fed up with everything and just deciding to make himself a makeshift bed. He must have been even cuter back then, as hard as that is to imagine. ‘I can’t relate.’ 

Jonas looks down at Matteo with an amount of open softness he’s rarely seen, and adjusts the blanket a bit, and with a laugh says: ‘Yeah, me neither. He’ll probably wake up here tomorrow morning wondering what happened.’

Looking at Matteo like this, so peaceful and serene, there’s an undeniable urge building inside David to just reach out and. Comb through his hair, kiss his forehead, cuddle up to him, convinced he’d feel warmer than ever just being close to him.

He shakes those thoughts off, focuses back on Abdi. It’s weird, he tells himself, to think of a friend in that way without their consent. Or maybe it isn’t and David is just too much of a coward to act on his feelings, for fear of rejection and the possibility of losing this group of people, knowing they’d pick Matteo’s side if it came down to it. 

***

They’re at another party, which this time one of Leonie’s friends is throwing. The boys are here, too, but he’d told them he wouldn’t have that much time to hang out this time as he’d be hired as Leonie’s official wingman. Her and Sara are finally starting to get somewhere in their relationship, but it just won’t actually take off and Leonie’s getting frustrated. She’d decided this would be the night she’d finally kiss her and David would help her with it. He wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to do so, but he was sure Leonie had some sort of plan so he didn’t question it. 

When the boys had heard about the plan, they’d laughed. David hadn’t understood at first, why everyone but Matteo seemed to be dying of laughter, and Matteo was so red, until they’d explained about him dating Sara before coming out and how it all been very awkward. They were on better terms now, but Matteo still seemed to regret the way he’d strung her along. 

David is standing under the fluorescent lights now, talking to a girl he vaguely knows from school. Leonie had disappeared a while ago. He’s still on the lookout for her, but she’s so tiny he has a hard time finding her. He’s holding a half-empty cup with liquor that’s slowly having an effect on his body and he can’t quite hear everything the girl is saying, but enough to understand he’s not super interested. He’s polite, though, so he keeps listening. 

On the other side of the room, Matteo is talking to Carlos, having a much more interesting conversation it seems, as they keep bursting out in laughter. Every few minutes, Matteo catches David’s eye and offers him a smile, lighting drunken sparks in David’s stomach. 

He’s desperately trying to look at least a little bit interested and not lost in the boy on the other side of the room, but it’s not working very well, he has to say. He’s never felt like this before, never had someone he just wanted to spend all his time looking at, someone that made something burn under his skin, an itch that told David to _touch._

He manages to keep himself under control until the music switches and he sees Matteo do the silliest, smallest little dance David has ever had the pleasure to see, and something snaps. Everything inside him is screaming to walk over there and push Matteo against the wall, gently box him in with his arms and -- 

He excuses himself from the conversation, renewing his efforts to find Leonie. He comes across a shots table on his way and does two in quick succession, trying to feel the music only and get lost in it, banishing images of blue eyes and silly smiles out of his head. It doesn’t really work, but at least he has a good time and gets to third wheel Leonie and Sara at the coffee shop now. 

***

Matteo is being annoying. Well David isn’t sure if _annoying_ is necessarily the best word to use as, really, David isn’t actually annoyed, and has never been with Matteo. He’s just being silly, but it’s so endearing David can’t help but smile when he tells him to stop. 

They’re watching a movie, on his bed, just the two of them, which is already reason for David to freak out a litte. He’d picked the movie of course, something he was required to watch for his course, and thought he’d make more interesting by sharing it with Matteo. It works, but while he’s having a better time altogether, he’s also not really paying attention, so it proves a less than effective plan.

Matteo keeps fidgeting first of all, which David doesn’t mind. He can deal with that, and he knows it’s just something Mattoe does sometimes, to concentrate better or because there’s some kind of energy inside him he doesn’t know how to get rid of otherwise. At first, it was just that, but then he’d started poking David and shifting the computer and making very dramatic sighing noises when ‘nothing happened’. He’s clearly bored and wants David to pay him more attention, but David refuses to give in so soon, no matter how hard is whole body is screaming for him to. He needs to keep up some kind of facade. 

It’s not long before he can’t take it anymore, though. Matteo is poking him in the side now, sending stupidsparks through David’s stomach, and okay, he hasn’t heard what’s been said for ten minutes now, there’s no use continuing this. 

He hits the space bar and turns around, trying to feign annoyance. ‘Oh, my God, Matteo, what?’ 

He shakes his head softly when he sees Matteo sitting there with his big eyes and that grin on his face, looking to anyone like a devilish little angel. His hair is a mess and his cheeks are a bit pink, but David is afraid his are, too. His eyes are _so blue._ ‘I’m bored.’ 

The thing is that David can’t even blame him. He should be able to get all the important nuances in the movie, but even he thinks they could’ve added _something_ to make it more interesting. 

‘What do you want me to do about that?’, he answers, tilting his head and smiling just a little bit because he can’t help it. 

‘Entertain me.’ 

David lifts his eyebrows and looks at Matteo for about ten seconds and then they’re play fighting. It’s not the first time it’s happened, but when he can help it David tends to avoid it because it’s a lot to feel Matteo all over him like that. He can forget about in the midst of the fighting when he gets too competitive. That’s not a problem. He always wins, though, and that _is_ a bit of a problem. 

He has Matteo on his back, hands above his head and hair splayed out around him. There’s a dangerous glint in his eyes, and his cheeks are _still pink_. Their bodies are pressed together, too much for David to relax. They’re so close David can smell Matteo’s deodorant.

God. 

The things he’d do to him like this if he could. He’d bend down, pressing him deeper into the mattress, before kissing him and --

They’re still staring at each other without saying anything, and the heat is suddenly just on the right side of uncomfortable and David has to get out. 

‘I need to pee.’ 

He scrambles from the bed as fast as he can, and he just has the time to get a glimpse of Matteo’s face, who perhaps looks a little disappointed, but David’s sure that’s just his own feelings being projected. 

He forces himself to calm down in the bathroom before coming back out. When he does Matteo is sitting on the bed. ‘You can continue watching. I’ll be quiet, I promise.’ David normally loves how soft Matteo’s voice is, but he thinks it’s just a little bit too soft right now. It almost sounds a bit sad, and David hates to think he might be the cause of it, acting as shifty as he is. 

He gives him a real smile this time, putting everything in it, no holding back. He climbs back on the bed, putting the laptop in-between the two of them, trying to be subtle about it. ‘Are you sure? We can watch something else, I know it’s not the most interesting.’ 

But Matteo vehemently shakes his head at that suggestion. ‘No, no, watch.’ He takes a look at his phone, before turning back to David. ‘Actually, are you hungry? I could make us some pasta or something?’

David’s heard about his pasta-making skills, from the boy himself, but also from their friends. Even Leonie and Amira had attested to it, which is proof enough for David. ‘Yeah, sure. That would be nice.’ 

‘Okay’, Matteo jumps up, with enthusiasm he doesn’t often show. ‘You watch your movie, I’ll be back.’ 

David settles in, turning the movie back about ten minutes and pays real attention this time. 

When Matteo comes back with two steaming plates, there’s only about twenty minutes left. Matteo settles in next to him and keeps quiet until the very end, all the while looking a mixture of cocky and embarrassed whenever David compliments the pasta. 

This time, David wants to kiss him for another reason entirely.

***

It all comes to a head one night. David should have seen it coming, should’ve known one day he wouldn’t be able to hide it all anymore. 

He used to deal with his problems by running away, and in a way that’s still what he’s doing, except it’s not as effective because there’s something about Matteo that just won’t let him leave all the way. Like an invisible string pulling him back in when he gets too far. 

He doesn’t even want to run from him, is the thing, and he’s not strong enough to force himself to like he usually is. Too scared to jump into the water, too weak to leave the cliff he’s standing on, so now he’s just looking out over the edge into Matteo’s ocean eyes, poisoning the breeze on his skin and in the end not only hurting himself, but hurting Matteo, too, every time he acts distant. 

He’s stuck, though, can’t move, no matter how much he wants to, feels that he’s overstaying his welcome where he is. 

It’s the two of them again, which has been happening more and more the longer their friendship lasts. They’ve come to be referred to as matteoanddavid by their friends, which David doesn’t mind, although it does unfurl something hot in his stomach, that tells him it’s not enough, both what he’s doing and what they are. 

They’re playing video games this time, and Matteo has just taken out the weed. It’s getting worse, is the thing. At first, David would get overwhelmed with the urge to touch when Matteo did something particularly cute, said something sweet, something funny. He was able to ignore it then, mostly, still able to look away when he felt it coming up. He can’t anymore. 

It’s come to the point where everything Matteo does, is reason for David’s insides to riot. He’s not even doing anything, just lighting the joint between his lips and setting up Mario Kart, but David is already panicking. 

It’s too hot, too much, too little. He can’t do this today. 

It feels wrong fishing his phone out of his pocket, pretending to read a message on the screen. Feels awful, _painful_ almost, turning to Matteo and telling him his sister needs him and he needs to go _now_. He hates lying to him, that sweet boy who’s never hurt David in any way he could control, but whom David keeps pushing away, keeps on being the reason his smile slips and his eyes lose some of their light. 

He’s up before he has the time to take in everything about Matteo’s reaction, and is already in his hat and shoes, with jacket in hand in the hallway when Matteo joins him. 

‘David, wait. Please, wait.’

David inhales, exhales, clutches his jacket tightly between his fingers and turns around to face him. ‘Yeah?’

For a moment, Matteo doesn’t speak, just stands there looking a little bit sad and a lot beautiful. ‘Why are you avoiding me?’ He says, then, finally, and lets out a breath of air right after like just saying those words took a lot out of him. 

David hates that he can’t stop lying. ‘Avoiding you -- Matteo, I really need to go.’ 

‘God, David, I’m not _that_ stupid. I can tell when someone doesn’t want to spend time with me.’ And that’s officially enough to make David break character, at least a little bit because he’ll do anything before he’ll let someone call Matteo stupid, especially he himself.

‘You’re not stupid at all, Matteo.’ 

‘Then why are you acting like I won’t see what you’re doing?’ He doesn’t quite sound choked up, but there’s a thread of breath running through his voice, so fragile David thinks it’ll break if he moves, so he stands very still. 

Matteo’s always been so brave. God, he -- 

He’s too scared to take the plunge and let Matteo know how he’s feeling, because he doesn’t want to lose him, doesn’t want to feel that rejection. He’s been slowly losing him this way, too, though, and suddenly he can’t stand hurting him anymore. He’d rather be hurting himself because Matteo turns him down, which he’ll do gently, he knows this if nothing else, than to have to hurt Matteo cruelly, the only way he knows how to.

So. He hangs the jacket back in its place. He takes a breath. Looks into the gentle waves in Matteo’s eyes. ‘Do you know what basorexia means?’ 

Matteo frowns at that, understandably. David would roll his eyes at himself in his place. ‘What?’ 

‘It means -- ‘ He takes another breath. ‘It means ‘the overwhelming desire to kiss’.’ 

Matteo’s still frowning in confusion, but there’s something else in his eyes now, too, a spark of something lighter, hope or something close enough. ‘Okay?’

David looks just right of Matteo’s face when he says what comes next, like not clearly seeing his reaction might lessen the blow. ‘It means I want to kiss you. It means I like you and sometimes you do things that make me want to kiss you, but I can’t, so I leave because I’m scared and overwhelmed.’

Silence. David dares shifting his eyes a millimeter to the left, just enough to look at Matteo, and then when he sees he looks. Happy? straight at him. He’s blinking rapidly and rubbing his face with one hand. ‘You want to kiss me?’, he asks, and this time a smile is breaking through the clouds of David’s fears. 

David nods.

It’s quiet again for a moment. And then: ‘Why don’t you?’

David can’t have heard that right. ‘What?’ 

‘You heard me.’ 

‘What do you mean?’ Because he has to be sure. 

‘It means I want you to kiss me, you dumbass! I like you, too.’ 

He’s been waiting months for this, holding it all in, so now that he’s allowed, it’s impossible to keep his body from rapidly going to stand right in front of Matteo. They’re both giggling at this point, which doesn’t make for the best circumstances when David puts one hand on Matteo’s cheek and the other on his neck, and kisses him. 

There’s no fireworks or eruption of golden light beneath his eyelids. Matteo’s lips are chapped against his and the giggling hinders them from doing anything serious. But it’s perfect. It’s perfect because it’s them and as simple as it is, it might be the best thing David’s ever experienced. He doesn’t want to ever stop, doesn’t think he can physically get himself to right now. 

He’s still giggling when they pull back, and he buries his face in Matteo’s shoulder, wanting to feel him as close to him as possible. ‘You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do that’, he says against it. 

‘I’ve wanted to since Leonie introduced us at that coffee shop. I thought you were the most handsome boy I’d ever met.’ 

David looks up again, not laughing anymore, but overcome with too many feelings to name them all. Matteo had once told him he always feels like his chest is overflowing with emotions and that sometimes it’s easier to just shut it all off by smoking or drinking or sleeping, because sometimes it’s so much he can’t think. David wonders if this is how he feels like then, and it makes him want him even more because it’s been three minutes and David is already at his limit. 

He pulls Matteo in, kissing him again, properly this time, putting it all in that kiss. The ocean water is warm all around him and he doesn’t need to breathe, doesn’t think he’ll ever need to breathe again as long as he has this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Find me on tumblr @vlindervin7


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